"Can't Take It In"

Can't close my eyes
I'm wide awake
Every hair on my body
Has got a thing for this place
Oh, empty my heart
I've got to make room for this feeling
It's so much bigger than me

[Chorus:]
It couldn't be anymore beautiful
I can't take it in

Weightless in love...unraveling
For all that's to come
And all that's ever been
We're back to the board
With every shade under the sun
Let's make it a good one

[Chorus:]
It couldn't be anymore beautiful
It couldn't be anymore beautiful
I can't take it in

Laaaaaaaa ohhhhhhh
I can't take it in

Laaaaaaaaa ohhhhhh
I can't take it in
Woahhhhhhh

It couldn't be anymore beautiful
It couldn't be anymore beautiful
I can't take it in

More that I wonder
More than I ever needed
Woahhhhhh
More that I wonder

Oooooohhhhhh
 

And the solstice comes again, Light begins its return, each day longer than the one before, night slowly retreating, and time turns again.   Through the Longest Night, I sit, keeping a vigil until dawn.  And in the hours before dawn, I kneel contemplatively before a candle.   I am a child of the night, part of me mourns the passing of Night's season.  I mourn the coming of the light.  But I am Gaeia's child too, and soon will be the season of growth, and I look to it with anticipation.  Dawn comes, and I cringe away, yet too do I smile softly as the warmth of the sun falls on my face, for just a few moments before I retreat from its touch, my eyes watering against it.  And again I find myself torn, too many pieces, too many halves, too many conflicting bits

Child of war, child of peace
child of love, child of hate
child of death, child of life
warrior and healer.  
Guardian
Child of the Night
Lover and loved.

 Abuse of power comes as no surprise
Alienation produces eccentrics or revolutionaries
an elite is inevitable
anger or hate can be a useful motivating force
any surplus is immoral
disgust is the appropriate response to most situations
everyone's work is important
exceptional people deserve special concessions
faithfulness is a social not a biological law
freedom is a luxury not a necessity
government is a burden on the people
humanism is obsolete
humor is a release
inheritance must be abolished
killing is unavoidable, but is nothing to be proud of
labor is a life destroying activity
Money creates taste
morals are for little people
most people are not fit to rule themselves
mostly you should mind your own business
much was decided before you were born
murder has its sexual side
pain can be a very positive thing
people are nuts if they think they can control their lives
people who don't work with their hands are parasites
people won't behave if they have nothing to loose
private property created crime
romantic love was invented to manipulate women.
selfishness is the most basic motivation
sex differences are here to stay
starvation is nature's way
stupid people shouldn't breed
technology will make or break us
the family is living on borrowed time
the land belongs to no one
timidity is laughable
torture is barbaric
you are guileless in your dreams
you must remember you have the freedom of choice
 

She could feel it.  He was rushing towards her, rushing into her.  Ready, waiting, there was no fear within her.  She wanted this, needed him.  Leaning against her window, she looked out, watching the cars go by.  For a second, her reality blurred, and she felt as though she were the one moving.   This too was him.  Awakened now from the dream.  

She knew where he was.  The beginning of the rest of their lives was tomorrow.   She could feel him there on the bus, getting closer with each passing moment, the ties between them growing stronger with each mile.  He was leaving behind everything he ever knew for her.  His had walked away from his entire life to be with her.

She rested her finger tips on the glass as she looked out, she could almost feel him doing the same.  "I love you" she whispered to the night wind, willing it to bring the message to his ears.   She looked over to her bed.  Tonight she would lie in it alone for the last time.  Tomorrow morning, she would wake up alone for the last time.

Her life too would change with him in it.  She had been waiting a long time for the one that would make her want to change.  She saw him every night when she closed her eyes, every dream belonged to him, not a waking moment passed without her wanting to share something with him.  She was ready, waiting.

She felt him drift back off to sleep, and she closed her eyes as well.  Waiting for him to rush into her.

It is one in the morning and I am sitting here, alone.  Yet Not.  
The other half of my soul is thousands of miles from here, and has long since gone to bed.  I am sitting here, like I have on so many other nights, just listening to the rhythm of his light snores.  In that, just his presense, just the knowledge that he is there, I find peace.  I find love.

44 days until the rest of my life.